I feel like I am stealing, but really I am not! I had just come up with my topic for the day and thought, “I’ll write as soon as I go through all my notifications. One of the first posts I read was this one about coping with anxiety through travel. I wanted to comment so much because she wrote my thoughts. Anyway, here it is in case you want to read.
So today didn’t start out so well. I wasn’t feeling well and I had hoped to get a few things done. So settling for just one or two things I started my day. But a little bit turned into a shopping binge that did not help my purse, my stomach, my headache or my eventual anxiety.
So what did I do?
- Trip to Bed, Bath, & Beyond for a new coffee maker
- Which led to a trip to Michael’s, it was right next door
- Grocery store for creamer
- Home to use my new coffee maker
- A lot of reading and video watching to try and make my coffee maker work
- A call to the manufacturer to find out it was broken
- Back to BB&B for a new coffee maker
- Have coffee, finally.
- Arrange flowers I got at Michael’s in pots on my patio
- Sweat a lot!!!
- Trip to almost forgotten acupuncture session
Needless to say I feel no better and maybe even worse.
What I Wish I Had Known 12 Hours Ago
All of the above is a great sign I am manic. Well, not the not feeling well, but all the doing and buying, that is mania for sure. After all that I did I learned a lesson. There is more than one way to skin a cat!
Mania is one of my most miserable places that feels so good you just can’t help it. And I should know if I want to buy anything over 50 bucks I might just be heading to that spot on the map. And it is such an out of control place. BUT!!! I learned something when I got home. I sat down to do my watercolor for the day and lo and behold I felt calmer. And what was really nice was what I did turned out really well because I was more energetic about it. It wasn’t a “I’ll just kick this out and not worry about if it is too good and be done with it.” Instead it was, “how can I make something really beautiful” and stick to it until I succeed. I am new to watercolor so I let myself off the hook when something doesn’t look as good as it could. But today I didn’t.
So my theory, art battles mania! I knew it could work on my anxiety, but I never thought about mania. The next time I feel like spending over 50 dollars I am going to come up with an art project. If after that I still feel like that money is going to be well spent then okay, but first I need to give myself a chance to see if I am manic. If I am then I need to keep on doing the art. If what I want to buy is in fact necessary then spend away. But I do think I need to keep to online buying, having that store right next door was too much of a temptation. If I hadn’t seen it I wouldn’t have even thought to look at those things.
So here is my leaf. It’s not situated on the page all that well, but I can trim it down later. Right now I am worn out!